Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Barnabas Collins In A Funny Vein - Un-numbered

Barnabas Collins In A Funny Vein by No Author Listed
published by Paperback Library
Copyright 1969

Dig the groovy new humor craze
that's sweeping the country
-inspired by TV's cool
ghoul, Barnabas Collins - America's
favorite pain in the neck!

Why did Barnabas accept the part in DARK SHADOWS?
Because they said he could drink on the job.

Why did Barnabas become a vampire?
He failed his blood test.

How does Barnabas open the door to his house?
He uses a skeleton key.

Why does Barnabas like to bite airplane pilots?
He says they make him high.

Why does Barnabas use make-up when he goes on TV?
Otherwise he'd have DARK SHADOWS.

Vampires are well known as they are for their sense of humor this seems like an easy leap to make...

I am actually embarrassed 40 years later for Barnabas Collins.


  1. Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! Give it up for the comedic stylings of mister Barnabas Collins!! Actually, I suspect this book was penned by a GHOST WRITER.

  2. Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law school.

  3. What creature comes out at night, wears a black cape, bites victims, and sucks their blood? A mosquito with a black cape.

  4. "Doctor, I keep having nightmares. One night I dreamed about vampires. The next I dreamed about a werewolf. Then the next I dreamed about zombies." "How interesting. Do you always dream in alphabetical order?"