The Porterfield Legacy and Cook to Bang

The Porterfield Legacy
by Casey Stephens
published by Zebra Books
Copyright 1980

Desperate for money after her husband's death, Nora Bellingham tries to sell her only valuable possession: an antique brooch that her mother left her when she was killed seven years before.

Mysteriously, the brooch changers her fate and Nora finds herself being offered a job as a secretary and housekeeper at the great Porterfield mansion.

As soon as she arrives, Nora has an immediate premonition of danger and disaster. She almost succeeds in putting all fears and worries aside when she discovers that her precious brooch is gone!

Unable to trust anyone, Nora is frightened and alone. And when she finds a hidden family portrait of a woman wearing a necklace that is identical to her brooch she realizes that is more than haunting secrets lurking behind

The 
Porterfield
Legacy

Okay, the fashion on this cover is so awful that I want to jump into it and manhandle Mrs. Bellingham into a bra. Any bra.  Demi, Punch-up, Plunge, Shelf, hell, perhaps we just need to start with a basic training bra.

Now that her lingerie needs are met, we need to do something drastic with that dress. Something about it reminds me of those 8 millimeter films of late 70's discos that show up on the History or Biography channel when they are talking about someones youth spent in a drug induced haze. 

One thing this dress lacks is structure. I'm not saying that we need to whale-bone her or anything, but the sleeves just tumbling down from her shoulders like that does nothing for her but make her head look huge. And, if we are not going to lift those girls up along with that empire waist, we need to forget it all together. A twenty-something shouldn't look like her breast are resting on her stomach.

 And it goes without say that she needs her ends trimmed, an eyebrow pencil and I believe she is a medium warm fall, so I don't think that god-awful color works for her.

Now that I have that out of my system, what is up with the cat? I just want to scoop him up, have him checked for ear mites and bring him home with me.

Now, on to my next paper-back treasure. 

Thanks to a friend introducing me to this, I am in desperate need to share "Cook to Bang"! A book that teachers us that hot single woman in strappy shoes can not get enough of a man who knows his way around a skillet.

Personally I think Do Dishes to Bang, Pick Up After Yourself to Bang and Put Gas in the Car When it is on E to Bang would be far more affective, but perhaps that is just me.

But cooking works too. And since Mr. Kiss the Cook looks like a complete ass, no doubt he can use all the help he can get.

Oddly, I never even realized that cooking for seduction was even a thing. Though it does help make a certain date I once had make far more sense.

Personally, I don't think he was going to have any problems with the blond or the brunette sitting at his feet anyway.

For the record, I really enjoy the word bang. It really conveys its meaning without resorting to profanity. 

Thunder Heights & Baton Sinister

Thunder Heightsl by Phyllis A. Whitney
published by Ace Books
Copyright 1960

"THUNDER HEIGHTS IS A SUSPENSE
AND LOVE STORY APPEALING TO THOSE
WHO LOVE BRONTE, DU MAURIER
AND MARY STEWART" - Library Journal

Years ago Camilla King's mother died under
mysterious circumstances at Thunder Heights,
a gloomy, menacing old Gothic mansion
along the banks of the Hudson River.

Camilla's father, now dead, had always
forbidden her to set foot within Thunder
Heights' forbidding walls, but when her ailing
grandfather now summoned her, Camilla
went eagerly, hoping to find a home and a
family again.

What she found in this nest of bitter rivalries,
enduring hates and constant
dangers was that the same fate
that had befallen her mother
was being readied for her!

Its dark mood, brooking
atmosphere and realistic
backgrounds make
THUNDER HEIGHTS
"A romantic tale in
the turn Gothic
tradition." - Booklist.

I was already pretty impressed with this novel when I realized that the Ft. Wayne News - Sentinel compared it to "Rebecca" but when the back also promised "bitter rivalries" and "enduring hates" I was SOLD! Any one who has read this blog for any amount of time should know that the only thing better would be to boast "evil" and "the occult". This book is well deserving of my "Empty Promise" award. I promise I will read this one and get back to you regarding all of its splendor.

Okay, I love cover illustrations from the 50's, 60's and 70's. for any genre, but especially Gothic romance and the more racy men's novels. So when I ran into this graphic little cover, I had to scoop it up.

This back cover promises that Baton Sinister is going to duel and wench his way through "the glittering pomp of Renaissance Genoa". With this cover I believe it!

Some how it seems dirtier in red.

The Most Dangerous Game - Mill Reef Hall

Mill Reef Hall by Ariadne Pritchett
published by Fawcett Books
Copyright 1968

From the moment she stepped out
of the coach into the blinding
snowstorm, Lilia Franklin felt a strange chill
that was from something more than the
icy blasts that whipped at her.

Another might have turned back. But the
raven-haired young girl who had been
hired as nurse-companion to old Lord Reef
had curiosity as well as courage. Besides,
there was no alternative. She was a
penniless orphan.

Then she met Lord Reef's brother Seaton
and nephew Edgar and was more certain
than ever that she was in danger. Never had
she been made to feel so unwelcome. She
could not know then that she was in their way.

For they did not want to wait for old
Lord Reef to die. And now they had to plan
for Lilia, too. But Lilia was more than
they bargained for - much
more. And she had a few
plans of her own ...

If someday in the far future I need to hire a nurse-companion I will definitely hire myself a penniless orphan. It appears they will take all kinds of shit from you. I bet you could even hunt them. You know, give them something like an hour head start on the extensive grounds of your evil mansion and then just hunt them. My weapon of choice would be a bow but it is really a hell of a lot of fun to shoot a gun.

But anyway, back to my possible far future employee needs. I will hire a nurse-companion BUT will not hire a nurse-companion with such a long neck. I would have problems not staring and staring would just be rude. Still, a neck like that would really look great mounted on the wall of my game room.

Here we have a signed cover by the prolific Harry Bennett.

Born in Lewisboro, New York in 1925, Bennett was raised in Connecticut and studied painting and illustration at the American Academy of Art in Chicago after returning from his service in the South Pacific during World War II.

He began is commercial illustration career working in advertising with companies such as Pepsi and Keds in the late 40's and early 50's before moving on to illustrating book covers for publishers such as Fawcett, Crest and many others.

Below are several examples of other cover illustration you may or may not have seen.

Cry Shame, 1950 Illustrated Cover

Patricia, the Beautiful

Patricia, the Beautiful by Katheryn Kimbrough
published by Popular Library
Copyright 1975

Saga of the Phenwick Women
PATRICIA,
THE BEAUTIFUL

is one of the spellbinding novels in the greatest
series of gothic romances ever conceived -
THE SAGO OF THE PHENWICK WOMEN.
You won't want to miss the others,
exclusively in Popular Library editions.

Stunningly beautiful and aristocratic Patricia Kel-
burn was transported worlds away from the lush
Southern plantation where she had been raised. For
reason unclear to her, she was sent to the very
private girls' finishing school of La Chenilla in far-
away Boston to be prepared for her future.

Soon Patricia began to realized she was not a pupil
but a prisoner in this strange establishment ruled
by a lady with a dubious past, and filled with shock-
ing intrigue and chilling danger. But worse was yet
to come. For it was in a yet more distant and lonely
place - the great and fearful mansion of the Phen-
wicks - that Patricia came face to face with the
diabolical destiny designed for her, and with the
powerful and perverse man who would not let her
escape ...

Firstly, I would guess that the weird dude on the cover must be the powerful and perverse man we hear so little about on the back. Secondly, the strange cloak he is wearing makes me think he is either a flasher or has a permanent "Mr. Sardonicus" smile which he needs to cover. Of course the mention of him being "perverse" makes me think we are on the right track with the whole "flasher" thing. Thirdly, the fact that he is able to point his feet in two completely different directions leads me to believe he has hip damage or is a circus performer. Being that he is also described as powerful, would lead me to believe his is perhaps the Ringmaster of the circus. The hat merely lets us know he has bad taste in hats, again pointing to the whole Ringmaster thing.

So, being the prisoner of a double jointed Ringmaster flasher is the diabolical destiny of a poor heroine? Who would have guessed.

Jane, the Courageous

Jane, the Courageous by Katheryn Kimbrough

published by Popular Library
Copyright 1975

The Saga of the Phenwick Women
JANE,
THE COURAGEOUS

is one of the spellbinding novels in the greatest
series of gothic romances ever conceived.
You won't want to miss the others,
all exclusively in Popular Library editions.

When young, breathtakingly lovely Jane Munsk
was adopted into the Phenwick family, she was told
she should be grateful for the gift bestowed on her.
Now the motherless girl would bear the proud
Phenwick name, and be heiress to the Phenwick
wealth, power and position.

But from the moment the great doors of Phenwick
closed behind her, Jane realized how perilous her
new place in life would be. For in this home of
many secrets and dark violence, she was a puppet
in the hands of the tyrannical mistress of the manor
-and enslaved by a helpless passion for the hand-
some, haunted man who was her brother in name
only, and who led her down a twisting path of
danger to the ultimate betrayal of her love...

the Beckoning

the Beckoning by Virginia Coffman

published by ACE Books
Copyright 1965

Hatred and Peril
were her nearest neighbors,
beckoning with false
smiles from the turbulent sea on
one side and the treacherous
bogs on the other...

Beautiful, widowed Anne Wicklow though she was fortunate to find employment in the ancient, isolated castle high on an Irish cliff.

Once inside the gloomy castle, Anne discovered that evil walks beside her in the drafty halls-for someone in that strange household was determined to destroy her charge lovely young Maurie, who stood between a murderer and a fortune.

By protecting the girl, Anne put herself in mortal danger. To save her own life she had to uncover a ghastly secret-even if it meant betraying the man she loved.

Assignment: Okay, there is no need to live in such a bad neighborhood. Please go out and do real estate research. School systems aren't the only thing to worry about.